As you may have read in an earlier post, "Classic Story Structure," virtually all tales (from Thomas Hardy to the Hardy Boys) follow an ancient pattern, summarized here:
- The Hero,
in a Place, has a Problem. A well-drawn, sympathetic, particular
character, in a particular setting. The specific problem hurts and
challenges this hero.
- The Struggle
ensues
(full of surprises, twists, setbacks). Things get complicated; things get worse.
- The
Pit—the Insight— the Choice.
- The
Climax (showdown).
- The
Resolution (the hero and
perhaps the world is changed; things can never be the same).
Below, I break down my short story for middle-school kids, "Dragonfly," to illustrate the above plot elements. ("Dragonfly" appeared in Orbiter, an anthology of science fiction aimed at introducing
science topics in the middle-school classroom. My assignment was to write
a story that touches upon the basics laws of flight.)
DRAGONFLY
© 2002 Mark Canter
Something
dramatic happens to someone…
Ket opened
her eyes, still groggy from the blow, and screamed so long and loud it fogged
the faceplate of her helmet.
If not for
her expedition Suit, the dragon’s attack would have torn through Ket’s spine.
Instead, the beast’s scythe-like pincers had struck between Ket’s shoulders and
snagged Rebreather, the air-recycling unit. From the corner of her eyes Ket
watched vapor spewing from punctures in Rebreather’s lungs, forming white puffs
in the air like her own icy breath on a warm morning. Ket imagined she heard a
gurgling wheeze as Rebreather struggled to heal its wounds. But the dragon’s
giant buzzing wings drowned out all sound and pummeled Ket with vibrations that
numbed her to the bone.
… in a
specific, concrete setting:
Far below,
froth lashed and heaved on the surface of an alien sea. Most of the world was
covered with saltwater. The native sentient species called the planet Earth,
but only because they were land dwellers, Ket thought. It would be much more
fitting to call the planet Ocean. But then, Ket and her kind dwelled under permanent
ice on an ocean-covered moon, so she was partial to oceans. In Earth’s heavy
gravity the waves crawled like pale green worms over the darker green surface
of the sea.
Ket had only
glimpsed what hit her. Now she twisted and craned her neck against the
windblast from blurring wings to get a better look at the hunter that was
carrying her off as its prey. What she saw made her hearts hammer a duet. She
breathed out slowly and evenly to quiet her terror.
She fights
back or pursues a goal, driven by a strong need created by who she is (i.e.,
her character and her past).
Don’t panic is the first rule of any emergency.
How many times had the Queen-Explorer told Ket and the other Sister-Explorers
that?
“Faceplate,
de-fog,” Ket whistled to Suit,
producing shrill notes from inside a gas-filled sinus in her skull.
The visor
cleared. “Suit, drop my body temperature twenty degrees,” she whistled, and
felt an instant icy chill surge through her bloodstream. No time to enjoy the
pleasure.
Okay, Ket,
what have you got yourself into this time? Fourteen expeditions to Earth, and
most of them had put her in danger from the local lifeforms. That was the risk
of studying megafauna, the giant creatures that dwarfed Ket. Even so, this was
her first emergency on Earth that might really get her killed.
The droning
wings were shaking Ket dizzy. The predator was definitely a dragon of some
kind. Six legs, three body parts: head, thorax, abdomen. This particular
species had a long, cylindrical body, with a double set of wings on each side.
Each sphere of its twin eyes seemed half as big as the survey Ship Ket had
arrived in. But while Ket’s Ship was covered with dull gray scales, the
dragon’s faceted eyes reflected a bright spectrum of colors.
The four
long, transparent wings identified this species. Ket had seen its kind before
on a holo. What was the native name for it?
“Dragonfly,”
she spoke aloud, making the feathery, purple coil of her tongue imitate the
harsh language of the dominant species of this titanic world. Then she whistled
in her own musical language, “Suit, show data on dragonflies.”
A holo popped
up and hovered in the top left corner of her helmet, slowly rotating through
each of three axes. Even in the holo the dragon’s big eyes glowed iridescently.
No more information was available.
Well, that’s what science expeditions are for, aren’t they? And that’s
why I became a xenozoologist, Ket thought. If I live through this, I’ll have some
interesting facts to add to the knowledge of dragonflies.
Ket spread
the fan of skin flaps on her scalp and let Suit chill the many tiny blood
vessels that cooled her brain. It felt icy and good. She tried to keep
breathing slowly, deeply, to stay calm. But Ket noticed it was getting harder
to breathe at all, let alone deeply. Evidently, Rebreather had not been able to
heal itself.
“Trillion,”
Ket whistled, addressing a swarm of nanobots that lived in Suit’s bloodstream.
“Rebreather repair. Priority one.” Ket imagined another sound from Rebreather,
this time a sigh of relief, as a team of microscopic robots flowed into its
bloodstream from Suit’s immune system to help Rebreather restore its injured
flesh.
The dragonfly
rose higher on buzzing wings, carrying Ket toward a red clay cliff. Perhaps to
a nesting place to feed its young, Ket thought, sickly. Or would it deposit
eggs in Ket’s body, so that when the dragon larvae hatched they could eat
living food?
Interesting
facts to add to the knowledge of dragonflies.
Ket had not
worn a force-field generator because the so-called “portable” unit was too
heavy and clumsy to lug around on her back in Earth’s high gravity. Without the
protective field, the dragon could easily tear through Ket’s expedition Suit
with those huge mandibles that fed its cavernous mouth. Suddenly Ket remembered
herself in larval form, ripping through crimson bubbles in the ice to devour
the squirming life inside. She shuddered. She had to escape.
Of course, to
kill the flying dragon now would be to plummet to her own death. She must wait
until they had arrived wherever they were heading; to the red cliff, it seemed.
Ket got ready
to fight. The dragonfly’s attack had broken both of Ket’s tentacle arms; they
flopped uselessly inside long, thin sleeves, as Trillion devoted itself to
repairing Rebreather. But her abdominal graspers remained undamaged. It took
only a moment longer with the shorter arms to unsnap a laser drill from its
holster. Ket raised the tool in front of her faceplate: “Drill, on,” she
whistled. “Setting, maximum.” A green light winked on at the base of the tool;
a second light flashed red, showing the drill’s power was set to penetrate
diamond.
The red cliff
loomed large, filling Ket’s faceplate.
Things
get complicated.
Breathing had
become hard work. Ket felt overheated, in spite of the ice crystals that had
formed on her scalp flaps. Rebreather was near death. If Rebreather died, so
would Ket, and she knew Suit could not re-animate her for more than a few
minutes, not long enough for Ket to make it back to Ship. So Ket would die,
again. Then Suit would automatically switch to stasis-mode, keeping Ket’s body
in frozen suspension, awaiting rescue and re-animation at a proper medical
facility. But in that vulnerable state, the dragonfly would surely eat her, or
something more hideous.
“If I should
stop breathing,” Ket whistled to Suit in a rapidfire melody, “do not re-animate
me and do not place me in stasis.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to re-animate, Ket?”
Ket flinched. It was so rare for Suit to whistle back to her that it
always came as a surprise. The fact that it communicated to Ket in the
Queen-Explorer’s signature whistle did not lessen the shock.
“I repeat,” Ket whistled, “If I die, do not re-animate me. Do not place
me in stasis. Disgorge my body and leave it behind. If you manage to somehow escape
the dragon, place yourself in longterm standby mode to await rescue. Good
luck,” Ket whistled. “And may you be inhabited again and again.”
“And may you
be animated again and again,” Suit whistled back, in the Queen’s high, trilling
notes.
The dragonfly
glided down toward the red cliff’s edge. Ket readied herself, gripping the
laser drill in her central clasper. “Laser on,” Ket whistled. A blue beam shot
out from the tool. The black dragon alighted on the bluff overlooking the sea.
As soon as it touched down, Ket swiveled underneath and stabbed the blue laser
beam into a giant eye. She stirred the cutting light around and around inside
the wound, scrambling and searing the dragon’s brain in the same motion.
The
dragonfly’s head jerked in crazy loops, as if trying to flee the fire twirling
inside its brain. Its wings became still. Then its full weight crashed down on
top of Ket.
Ket’s
skalp-flaps drooped with relief. At least that
part of my nightmare is over, she thought. Then the sizzling hole in the dragon’s
eye spilled its contents. A thick, yellow jelly rained down on Ket in hot,
splashing globs. For a long moment she fought down the urge to be sick. Fog on
her faceplate was bad enough.
Forces try to
stop her, but she keeps pressing forward because something critical to her
heart is at stake.
With Suit’s
help, Ket managed to wriggle out from under the dragonfly. She stood back and
stared at the animal, long and black and sleek, with wings the size of an
aircraft.
Inspiration
struck.
Ket began to
see how she might get back to Ship on the other side of the water. But she was
forced to breathe faster now, and her body temperature kept creeping upward.
She had very
little time to make her plan work.
Things get
worse.
As Ket set
about preparing to escape, she thought grimly that her predicament seemed like
a horror version of a game she had played as a larva, called
“Fortunately/Unfortunately.”
Fortunately, when the dragon had swooped down
from behind and plucked Ket off the ground, it’s pincers had missed Ket’s spine
and stabbed Rebreather instead.
Unfortunately, Rebreather was so badly wounded
that even Trillion could save only part of one lung. Rebreather was losing its
ability to recycle Ket’s outbreaths into breathable air.
Fortunately, this planet had enough mass to
hold onto a thick atmosphere. Unfortunately,
Earth’s atmosphere was so toxic to Ket, that just breathing it would make her
burst into flames.
Fortunately, Ket wasn’t planning to breathe
the air. She only wanted to use it to fly back to Ship. Unfortunately, she didn’t have an aircraft to fly.
Fortunately, she did have one huge, dead
dragon. Which, Ket remembered, had smoothly glided down to a landing. From this
tall cliff, the dead dragon could serve as Ket’s glider, to fly her back over
the finger of sea to the low, salt marsh where Ship waited.
Unfortunately, Ket didn’t remember much from
Explorer Seminary about aerodynamic theory—at the time it had seemed to her
obsolete. Survey Ships traveled in the vacuum of space, where the study of
bodies moving through air did not apply, or they traveled on-planet by
repelling gravity waves. So Ket had no idea whether her flight plan was
ingenious or suicidal.
Fortunately, she had no idea whether her flight
plan was ingenious or suicidal. Because if she were convinced her strategy was
impossible—rather than just desperate—she would be stranded on this alien crag,
without hope, dying.
With Suit’s
help, Ket aligned the dragonfly’s wings and gave them positive dihedral—a
V-shaped upward tilt—for stability during flight. She straightened out the
dragon’s slender body and then sprayed the entire airframe—wings and
fuselage—with a thin film of liquid titanium from her kit. A moment later, she
tapped a wing with the spray gun, testing for hardness; the shiny silver
clinked metallically.
Dragonflies
were not equipped with ailerons, elevator or rudder for flight control, so Ket
would have to bank and steer the big kite by shifting her bodyweight, as in the
sport Earthlings called hang-gliding.
Riding beneath
the glider in the right spot was critical, Ket knew, or the aircraft’s center
of gravity would be skewed, causing an unbalanced and uncontrollable flight.
Sucking in and holding her breath, Ket detached herself from Rebreather and
used glue-rivets to fasten the dragonfly’s legs to Rebreather in the same place
they had grasped it before. Then she backed beneath the outstretched dragon
wings and recoupled her lungs to Rebreather, gasped for air.
“Suit,
maximum cold,” Ket whistled, “and inject strength hormones, all you’ve got
left.”
“What about
reserves?” Suit whistled.
“Keep no
reserves. Give me everything, now. Chill me down.”
A flood of
icy energy surged through Ket’s blood, into her muscles and lit up her brain in
a white, frosty light. Only her Explorer’s training kept her from swooning in
the freezing ecstasy.
Ket gathered
her physical might and stood up, lifting the giant dragonfly glider over her
bent back. She gazed down from the crest of a slope that led to the cliff and
the sheer drop to the sea.
She stared at
the edge where the world ended and the sky began.
Everything
was ready. But Ket was too scared to budge. A fall from this height would smash
her against the water. Then the pale green waves would crawl over her like
worms and gulp her down.
Ket was about
to tell Suit to go to standby, to re-absorb the energy nutrients from Ket’s
bloodstream before they were wasted.
Just as
things seem as bad as they can get (“The Pit”) she breaks through to an
important lesson (“The Choice”) that enables her to move ahead.
Then the
Explorer-Queen’s unmistakable melody whistled to Ket.
“Dear one,”
the warbling said, “when I was uploaded into Suits for all my Sister-Explorers,
it was so they could inhabit me, as my genes and my teachings inhabit all of
you. Now I tell you that I am proud of you, Ket. But an Explorer must return, to report on the wonders she has
found.”
Ket sighed.
Snowflakes of love fell from her eye stalks and a glacial blue oil oozed from
trembling gills.
Ket decided.
She hefted
the dragonfly and ran down the slope into the wind wafting off the sea. The
airflow over the dragonfly’s wings gave lift and tugged Ket’s feet off the
ground. She flattened her body into a prone position as she floated beyond the
cliff’s edge. Red clay plunged to green sea.
Ket was
flying. Dragonflying over the wrinkling waves.
The Climax…
The dragonfly
glider flew well. Too well. After a few scary and glorious moments, Ket was
more than halfway to the far shore and she gazed below at the green marsh
grasses. But she couldn’t bring the glider down. She had gotten caught in a
thermal—a rising column of heated air—that was carrying her up and up, toward
the fat underbelly of a summer cloud.
Ket tried to
think of everything she knew about how airplanes fly. She recalled that flight
involves the interplay of four forces: lift, weight, drag and…she couldn’t
remember the fourth one. Lift and—whatever—made
a plane fly higher; and the other two forces—weight and drag—made a plane come
down. Obviously, she could not increase her weight, but if she could increase
drag, she should start to descend.
Ket lowered
her body until it faced flat into the slipstream. The air buffeted against her,
braking her forward movement. It worked. The glider started to drop. Now the
green shore loomed close, filling Ket’s faceplate, as the red cliff had done
before.
One last
complication (“The Hollywood-kicker”).
But the
whitecaps came rushing up fast. The spray reached for her feet as she shifted
back into a more streamlined pose, but it was too late, she was going to hit
the waves.
Suddenly, she
remembered the other component of flight. Thrust.
Of course! Thrust helped a plane fly higher. And Ket’s expedition Suit was
equipped with steerable hydrogen jets for maneuvering outside Ship in space.
Ket whistled
piercingly, “Suit, aft-thrusters, full power, NOW!”
Ka-whooosh. The kick of acceleration felt
like being blasted from a sea-geyser. The glider shot up over the waves. Now
only waving grasses rushed by below.
“Thrusters
OFF!”
The dragonfly
glider floated down smoothly to land on the soft marsh.
The
Resolution. Tying up loose ends…
Back inside
the freezing safety of Ship, Ket slept through a whole cycle in a tank of
saltwater, beneath an icecap. Suit rested in its recharging chamber. Rebreather
sprouted lung buds in a slow whirlpool of pink slush.
When Ket
awakened she skittered straight to the lab. She plunked a tissue specimen from
the dragonfly into an enzyme bath and fed the digested flesh to Ship.
Ship tasted
the dragonfly’s genetic instructions and began to grow a virtual dragonfly in
the space in front of Ket’s head. Molecules clumped and folded and twisted into
proteins that linked in complex chains that took on the structure of cells that
developed into tissues that formed organs. In a moment, a scale holomodel of
the dragonfly hovered in the middle of the room.
An ice fog
wafted up from the deck and wet the feathery tips of Ket’s tentacles as she
began the virtual dissection. According to how she probed, the dragonfly’s
anatomy rotated in space, enlarged by magnitudes, vanished layer by layer. Ship
recorded her findings. Ket tweeted and chittered, enjoying the work, her
scalp-flaps coated with frost.
When she had
finished the project, Ket telescoped her tentacles back into their sockets, and
reflected on all she had learned.
“Giant
dragons,” she trilled to herself softly. “What a planet.”
In spite of
its crushing gravity, deathly heat and combustible atmosphere, Ket considered
Earth beautiful—even bewitching—and studying its weird, enormous lifeforms was
worth the dangers.
She gazed
with pride around the pearly interior curves of Ship. Every object glowed in
ultraviolet lighting. Ket could not imagine a life more rewarding than to be a
scientist in the Order of Sister-Explorers.
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